Game 18. Playoff Game 1.

Playoff Game 1
Romeoville, IL

The Women's Central Hockey League playoffs have begun and I'm stuck in Madison watching the NHL. 

Schneider, one of four goalies I have in my fantasy hockey team

What's the Lightning's #2 fan doing?  As has happened several times this season, I'm missing a game because of work.  Tomorrow, I'm to board a bus to Milwaukee and teach for six hours.  

But I just got a text from Vito:

"Yo!  We won!  I potted one!  How was Lillyhammer?!  It suck?"

(I had told Vito that I was going to stay home, eat spaghetti, drink beer, and watch a Netflix original series.  That Netflix original series is called Lillyhammer, and it stars Steve Van Zandt, the guitarist for the E Street Band.  It didn't suck.)

I texted back.

"It has potential."

A1 rounded out the scoring in a game that was chippy, featured some questionable calls, and not a little bit of pushin' and shovin'.

The Lightning play two more tomorrow.  I'll keep all of y'all updated.

Game 17. Freeze Blue (H) (L)

Game 17. Freeze Blue (H) (L)

1. Hoover.

2. Warren Peas hurls a shutout - yes she only faced nine shots, but it is hard to keep your concentration when the puck is on the other side of the rink.  You start to think of what you're going to have for lunch, your husband in the stands, life in general.

3. I was waiting for this match-up all season: Pope versus Pope.  And when the Lightning was up by eight goals in the third, the forwards switched up with the defensemen and it was real Pope on Pope action!

4. This was the last game on the regular season, and most of the team convened at the old watering hall.  By my records, the Lightning went 17-1-1 and head into next month's playoffs heavy favorites. 

Game puck: Hlin (2 goals, 2 assists, +8, 24:03 TOI).  Incidentally, she earned the season's first game puck.

And now … on to the second season.

Game 16. Janesville Jaguars (H) (L)

Game 16. Janesville Jaguars (H) (L)

The Jaguars, now fully mad, came up to Madison to try to finally (finally!) defeat the Lightning.  I was just happy to witness it.  I can't call myself Lightning's #2 fan if I miss three games in a row, can I?  (Meanwhile, the Lightning's #1 fan was nowhere to be seen.)

The Jags looked leaner; their hair, more colorful, indicative of a youthfulness usually accompanied by a swiftness of foot.  I don't remember seeing that player before?  And where was Specs? 

Assistant Coach Johnny Bye-Bye was behind the bench, calling the shots, putting a calming hand on the excitable Vapo Rub.

Assistant Coach Johnny Bye-Bye settles the troops

The Lightning started out horribly, inept even.  Even with the Bourbon Wall in net, within two minutes the Jaguars scored two goals.  But Nicole and I weren't worried.  No, not at all. 

It was when the Lightning couldn't muster up the equalizers that we began to worry.  But then, this happened:

With less than ten seconds left, Nicole's Friend takes a desperation shot from behind the blue line.  The goaltender, obviously aware of how little time there was, kicks the puck away with her skate blade.  I repeat: she kicked the puck away with her skate blade.  Instead of re-directing the puck to the corner or covering it up with her glove, she kicked it away with her skate blade.  And as you know, you can't really kick it all that far. 

The goalie was obviously unaware that Nicole's Friend's line mate, Vito, was doing what all the kids should be doing: playing to the whistle!  Vito was to the goalie's right, exactly where the puck had been clicked.  She collected the puck, collected her thoughts, and lifted the puck over the surprised goalie's left pad and glove.  The horn sound: she scored!  The period ended! 

The game would end like that: 2-2. 

Game puck goes to Vito.

Game 15. Madison Thunder (A) (L)

Game 15. Madison Thunder (A) (L)
Saturday, February 9

Oh what a game to miss!  Any game where it was reported that Amanita had to help break up a fight - even now, typing these words a few weeks later I can't believe it - is a game I would've loved to have seen.

Apparently, some player on the Thunder got pissed at Snootch and punched her in the face mask.  After the game, this same player came over to Snootch and called her something like "the dirtiest player ever."  Tempers flared.  Amanita and The Bearcat, who actually coaches the Thunder, intervened. 

Might've been different had the Thunder won.  It's one thing to be a sore loser, and yet another thing entirely to be a sore winner.  (In my other life as a tournament Scrabble player, I've definitely met my share of sore winners - a strange group.) 

But let's give that Thunder player some play: what does it take to be called "the dirtiest player ever."  What is Snootch actually doing?  She may be the chattiest player on the ice, but dirtiest?  Again: C'mon!

Game puck goes to Snootch, just 'cause. 

Incidentally, this was the first game Vito missed.  In another life, Vito used to play for a club in California, and this weekend, a few of those players came to Wisconsin to participate in the Eagle River Pond Hockey Championship.  Playing for the San Francisco Treats, she got to hoist the cup!

Game 14. Janesville Jaguars (A) (L)

Game 14. Janesville Jaguars (A) (L)
February 2

Six skaters and Warren Peas against the increasingly angry Janesville Jaguars.  I certainly picked the wrong game to miss; I always liked watching undermanned teams prevail.  Yes, despite our numbers, the Lightning escaped with a win.  Despite racing out to a 6-1 lead, the Jaguars regrouped and nearly beat the depleted Lightning, rallying for four goals.  With less than thirty seconds left, the Lightning were clinging tenuously to a 1-goal lead. 

Those thirty seconds must've felt like hours!  But they gritted it out. 

Game puck goes to the Black Locust.  Why?  C'mon, despite logging in 36 minutes, you know she was flying all over the place!

Eggs from Nicole and Nicole's Friend's Chickens

Game 13. Rockford Hot Wings (H) (L)

Game 13. Rockford Hot Wings (H) (L)

The Bearcat Scowls

In another life, I wrote reviews of church rummage sales on Chicago's tony north shore.  Towns like Winnetka, Kenilworth, Wilmette, and Lake Forest featured the best church rummage sales I've ever had the honor to sneeze through.  These sales would take place in the recesses of the church grounds, featuring dusty rooms connected by warrens crowded with crazed deal-finders.  Whole rooms were devoted to "devotional objects", "baby", "a/v", "unctions."  It was heaven.

So when I caught wind of the annual United Methodist Church rummage sale on Madison's north side about a week ago, I made sure that I went.  Vito came along.  While I did not expect there to be multiple rooms, I did expect there to be at least some good junk. 

Alas.  My one "find" was a spoken word record that promised to cure me of "excusitis." 

A pastry at Manna Cafe and Bakery and then off to the Shell for a league game against the Hot Wings of Rockford, Illinois.  When I think of Rockford I think of poet Matt Cook who wrote a poem (or found a poem) about Rockford.  The essential element of that poem was that Rockford had a metal factory of some sort back "in the day" and that printed on the brick factory building - at the top so it could be seen from the interstate - was a huge sign that said: Rockford Screw.

Which caused me and the rest of the Cloud Posse - Asperatus and Nimbus in full effect - to at least worry for our one-loss Lightning.  Well, we also were worried because we were without Amanita, Gloster, and Hlin.  That's a lot of firepower missing!  (Also, no cries of "Amanita … STONED!" would sail forth in the cavernous ice arena.  Also also, I would offer no kind of overly officious salutes but thankfully unnoticed salutes to Hlin as she skated stoically off the ice.)

The first period fulfilled some worry.  The Lightning were playing as if they had hangovers!  Very unorganized.  Lots of bunching up on one side of the ice.  And even though somebody collides with teammate Black Locust every game … well, I was worried.  The Hot Wings were playing with a  lot of moxie.  JP Specs (# 54) was rocking her Kurt Rambus-like epnymous specs.  Plus, their coach was of the yelling variety. 

But the first goal proved to be the only one the Lightning needed.  While the play resulted in one goal, it resulted in multiple style points: another perfect give-go-give-go between the Bearcat and MJ, with MJ getting the goal.

The Lightning would eventually win 7-0.  The game was close for one and a half periods.  In the third period, it was all Lightning.  The Hot Wing failed to register a shot on net for all of 12 minutes!  Meanwhile, the Lightning turned it on.  The period began 3-0.  Two minutes in and the score was 6-0.  There were some excellent goals.  None of which were caught on video, but many were witnessed by a bunch of hockey dudes, waiting to get on the ice.

Hockey Dudes look on as the Bourbon Wall signals the icing

I will at least attempt to describe some of the goals, for many were quite beautiful.  Like this one in the 2nd period: Snutch takes a shot from near the blue line, and Nicole's Friend tips it in.  Just like they do in the NHL!

Vito had a couple of goals.  The first into a wide-open net, the goalie down after deflecting a terrific shot from Nicole's Friend, Vito smartly skating down the slot unmarked.  Her second, and this would end the scoring, was a very Hlin-like skate to the slot and shoot.

Alone time

The game puck goes to Nicole's Friend, who registered 4 points with 2 goals and 2 assists. 

Notes: Vito and I eschewed the post-game beers and lunch.  Instead, we drove west to Black Earth to get some really good meat (we bought a pork shoulder and a couple of ribeye steaks) at Black Earth Meats.  We also bought some shoes at The Shoe Box.  At home, I would take a stunning hour-long nap.  In contrast, after the game MJ went out for a run up and down a hill in preparation for a 50-km cross-country skiing race at the end of February.  In contrast, the Bourbon Wall and Nicole's Friend stuck around downtown waiting for the 2 PM game skating for the Meteorites. 



Finally, here's a link to a poem by Matt Cook:

http://writersalmanac.publicradio.org/index.php?date=2009/11/23

Game 12. Madison Thunder (H) (L)

Game 12. Madison Thunder (H) (L)

Refs

The day after the Packers' ouster from the playoffs and the Lightning's first loss is sunny and filled with more hockey, more football watching, the Golden Globes, and episode 2 of season 3 of Downton Abbey: A Day for Lady E.  A return to the Lightning's winning ways was definitely in order.

This was a home game, so I was operating the 1's and 2's (aka the scoreboard).  Nimbus was  doing her part on the bleachers.  Asperatus was recovering from too much human contact and was reportedly at home "chillin' with the chickens."  I wish I could do that!

As for the game, almost all hands were on deck for the Lightning, and the Bourbon Wall was back in net.  She reportedly slept in her bulky goalie gear.  What was rousing was that everybody who played last night - and drank bloody Marys and draft beer last night - was here looking to redeem themselves.  Amanita, Hlin, Vito, MJ, Vapo Rub, Nicole's Friend, Timbers, Bourbon Wall were eager to be rid of the taste of losing in their mouths: yeech!  And the rinsing agent would be the Madison Thunder, whom the Lightning thrashed in their season-opening double-header. Helping them rinse: Snutch, Black Locust, The Bearcat.  Cheers for two lines!

The Thunder was much improved from that inauspicious start of their season.  But the rested Black Locust was on fire: she registered a couple of assists, benefiting first Amanita and then The Bearcat.  The Bourbon Wall faced 13 shots and turned aside them all for her umpteenth shutout. 

Without Coach TR, Coach HH, or Assistant Coach Johnny Bye-Bye, the team relied on the wise  words of The Bearcat, who had spent time last season actually coaching today's opponent! 

The Bearcat dispenses "ye olde words o' wisdom"

The Lightning won 3-0.  A game that was actually tighter than it should have been.  Game puck goes to the Black Locust.  Cherish it.

Never got to order The Bielema

Notes: I ate a veggie burger from Jordan's Big 10 Pub afterwards.  That burger is underrated.  None of my football teams won (with apologies to the lone commenter to this journal - and a public acknowledgement of respect to Evil Bill).  Jodie Foster FTW (sort of in a rambling way, um, huh?).   And - spoiler alert - EDITH!!!!!!

Game 11. Madison Meteorites (A) (N)

Game 11. Madison Meteorites (A) (N)

8:30 PM. Hartmeyer Ice Arena, Madison, Wisconson.

What happens on a Saturday night in Wisconsin when the Green Bay Packers are in an evening playoff game?  You expect to not have two full lines when you play your exhibition hockey game, that's what.  Which is what happened to our beloved Lightning at the Hartmeyer Ice Arena.  Luckily, it also happened to the top-division Madison Meteorites, who had only one skater on their bench.

What was not expected was this: Coach Hungry Heart, who helped lead the Lightning to victory in their first game against the Meteorites, arrived.  This was remarkable as many of you know, Coach H is actually on the roster for the UW Women's hockey team, and they had a game tonight as well!  That's dedication!  Although it should be said that she did not actually dress for the UW Lady Badgers.

Coach HH crosses the ice

All the troops

With the Packers and the 49ers tied, the View From the Clouds posse (including Nimbus and Asperatus) picked a bench and watched the proceedings.  Hartmeyer is nice: bleacher seating on both sides of the wide ice, affording good views.  Also, vending machine hot chocolate can be had for $.50.  Price goes up a dime if you want a large. 

After the first period, the Lightning faced their worst deficit of the season, down two goals to none!  A yell of "Hustle!!" quickly followed by what sounded like a lone shout of "LayYoFightLuongo!" and the Lightning were off.  The Bourbon Wall stood tall, and the understaffed Lightning generated chances on the understaffed Meteorites.

Against an unknown goalie, no not Warren Peas in a brunette wig, the Lightning came up short several times.  The cry of "Amanita … STONED!" echoed throughout the empty, cold, arena.  The sounds of the game fought for attention against the blaring television set, the broadcast of the Packers game cast an unsettling backdrop to the desperation of the Lightning.

On Amanita's second breakaway of the period, she held the puck a bit longer than usual, waited for the goalie to drop, and she slid through the crease and deposited the puck.  2-1 Meteorites.

Amanita deposits the puck.  Trust me.

The third period: awesome hockey.  I remember when I was in my playing days, playing league games that started at 11 PM on a Saturday night, one 50-year old defensemen playing the entire game, when pulling the goalie (me) meant putting your team a man down, scrapping out a victory.  I had hoped tonight would be one of those nights, so I took out my point and shoot and captured those hectic last moments of the game. 

A pulled goalie, a sustained attack, a mad scramble, the crowd chanting, the puck on Vapo Rub's blade, then MJ's ... and that's how it happened that the Lightning lost their first game of the season.  Coach Double H turned to the Cloud Posse and said, "I'm still 1-1 as a coach!"  Well, I was 1-1 after my first games as a goalie.

Notes: Went to Dexter's afterwards to catch the rest of the Packer game.  The place was still relatively crowded despite the by-now foregone conclusion.  Touchdowns scored by the losing team in blowout during garbage time are the worst kinds of scores in sports, don't you think?

Game 10. Sun Prairie Rage Blue (H) (L)

January 5, Saturday, 11:15 AM, The Shell

After a nearly three-week holiday layoff, the Madison Lightning looked to continue their unbeaten season against the Sun Prairie Rage Blue (as in Blue Division, not as in "rage so much that their faces turn blue").  A win today would be special: not only would it be 10 straight wins but it would be a "win one for the gipper" kind of thing.  The Lightning's first-year coach, Coach Thunder Road, is currently convalescing after surgery. 

Assistant Coach Johnny Bye-Bye rocking the fashion faux pas: two sports teams at one time!

But the Rage, division leaders as well and featuring some super fast skaters, including a player known only as "The Zero", had New Year's Resolutions of their own to keep: namely, "show those haughty Lightning what's what!"

It almost worked.  They almost prevented the Lightning from scoring in the first period, but a successful give, go, give, bounce, between Amanita and Nicole's friend with 4 minutes left to go in the first opened the scoring.  Who was to get credit for the goal?  The confused ref said "number 3" - Nicole's Friend.  Thirty seconds later, the ref comes by and says, "Give number 32 an assist" and voila, Black Locust tallies a point playing on Amanita's line.  Where was Vito, Nicole's Friend's usual wing pair?  She was off playing defense, subbing for the missing MJ. 

The Rage continued to play tight.  What was the phrase?  "Play up to the level of their competition"?  And so they did, matching shot for shot, playing with speed.  Warren Peas proved up to the task, lack of depth-perception be damned!  The second period: lots of drama, no scoring.

The third period proved to be the most exciting bit of Lightning hockey this season.  Who knew?  Even when The Bearcat scored a beautiful backhand goal (patent pending) to make it 2-0, the Rage would not wilt.  With Vapo Rub out for a tripping minor, the Rage scored in a scrum in front of the net.  It was a "play to the whistle" kind of thing, as the Rage coach kept yelling next to my ears goddamnit.  2-1 Lightning.  They pulled the goalie.  The Lightning sacrificed their bodies deflecting shot after shot.  And that's how it would end.

Notes: In a nod to the bonds that competition forges, the Lightning eschewed their usual post-game drinking hole to hang out with the Rage at their drinking hole.  And so it came to be that I ate my first veggie burger, accompanied with tater tots, of the year.

A distinctly average veggie burger